atlasraps asked: oh hi there. nice poems.

thankyou

The unrealistic expectations of finding love in a mainstream society.

I, myself am not looking for love but in fact am waiting for love or something of that matter to find me. Maybe I have already found it but I have a sneaking suspicion that I shouldn’t get ahead of myself.

I have this vision that I will be somewhere, maybe a party, maybe walking across the street and that man decides he has to know who I am. He will be baffled by something about me, not my looks but by the way I carry myself. He might see me a few mores times after that and not have the opportunity to approach me.  I have this whole situation planned out of how this person in infatuated with me and seeks me out but I never envisioned an end. 

I think that I gave up on trying to predict endings or happy endings at that, even know I was never a Cinderella baby sitting there thinking I needed a man to save me or make me happy.

When a person looks at mainstream media they are convinced if they are single they are to be unhappy cause you cant be a single empowered woman, you need a man to take care of you.

Our society makes being alone a dangerous situation; labels are the things that pull you into a day-to-day normality. 

Boys trick me with their words
Sometimes they undress me, sometimes they mislead me.
Its not like how you would see it in a romantic movie where the lights are low and some attractive shirtless mans pull down a strap from my dress so slowly it falls down my arm. My shoulder would glow.
He would trace my adrenaline and run his finger from my neck, over my collarbone and down my shoulder.
No, it’s not like that at all.
Boys use their words to undress me; they speak pretty words to me.
They tell me, I’m beautiful and one of a kind.
They watch my clothes trail off and the words they speak get kinder and show more depth.
Boys will then trick me with subtle ideas of a future and how it will all be okay. 

On being a coward

I fall for people too quickly.

It’s not the first time either, but the only reason I’m struggling is because I don’t have a foot to stand on.

I was confident I was different to him, but them after reading what I saw and having the wind knocked out of me I feel so stupid and naive.

That was my doing I don’t have anyone to blame for that but myself.

But I was convinced I was different.

The word Tainted comes to mind.

Because, although he isn’t mine, all the trust that I put into him so quickly (maybe too quickly) is now tainted with the darkest color of insecurity: Always Assuming the Worst.

I’m not saying I’m anything special.

I’m not.

I’m average, inexperienced and scared.

But, now who can blame me.

I do not need a title or a label I just need the reassurance.

I don’t want to be one of many, I am okay with being one of a few but honestly even that makes me doubt every word to come out your mouth.

How am I suppose to feel otherwise when you say things that make this sound so serious and long term when now I just feel like this is a joke and I’m just waiting for the punch line: “okay, I’m done now!”

It wouldn’t be funny but it would explain more then the “games” that are being played now.

You are a man of mind games.

But, I want to believe so bad that I’m not just a fluff piece you write about to till you find a front-page story.

How did this happen.
How did it start? I can’t really think of the specific moment when you fell into my life.
I just know I saw you then, we were together.
Magnetic.
Then again the next night, there was no denying the tension.
Then I left and I can’t tell you why.
Two days later you said it was cause you loved me.
If you didn’t feel some sort of connection with me you wouldn’t have kept me around, or even “gotten me back” when we had a week of silence.

Part of me really wants to believe you love me.
The other part of me is expecting the silence of her return.
I can’t decide which one is better.
I kind of want a fresh start and I want it to be you.
I’m not really sure why.
You became my best option all the sudden.
You tricked me into caring about you.
And I tripped, I fell and now I’m stuck.
Stuck, loving you.

I will let you tell me you love me, but I wont believe.
I’ll try not to believe.
I won’t believe.
I just be drawn to you, and love you helplessly. 

rudyfrancisco:

Feminism is not an effort to dethrone masculinity, it is a commitment to building a pedestal equally as high for femininity  

(via inlovewithaplaceinmymind)